Half Way There

I'm very excited to say that I am almost half way there funding my trip to San Jose! God is faithful :] With 17 days, 21 hours, 25 minutes and 50 seconds left till the day I could not be more excited!!! I'm getting the inside scoop from Karlie and Megan on stuff to know before I go. I'm so thankful for them. Where would I be without them?! Not getting ready to go to Costa, that's for sure.

So in the time I have been preparing for this trip I am happy to say that I have been learning some awesome things. I am learning more about faith, and trust. They go hand in hand but they have very specific individual meaning. I'm also learning a lot about myself through this process. God is revealing some of my weak areas and other strong areas. I often let underlying discouragement get the best of me. I am being able to recognize the lies I tell myself and the devil leads me to believe and I am able to call them out in front of myself and the Lord. There also have been several instances in which I was so heavy hearted that I prayed for something unexpected to lift my spirit and God has come through every time. It often brings me to tears in thankfulness and that's when I begin to laugh.

An Example:

Two nights ago I awoke from a bad dream. I won't call it a nightmare because it wasn't one. Just a very bad dream that I couldn't wake myself from. When I did awake I felt sick to my stomach because of what I had just dreamt. I then prayed that my dream would have no hold over me and my whole day but that my heart would be light and there would be joy throughout my day. As soon as I finished praying I checked my phone (as I do every morning), and there was a message from my Pay Pal saying that there had been a $200 donation to my trip. I was blown away, and my eyes started to tear up. I then checked my Facebook messages and found a message from a church momma asking about what I was doing, encouraging me and asking how my finances were coming along. I was so touched by those two things that morning that I broke down in tears, it was a little intense, kinda glad I was alone in my room for that one. I was so overwhelmed with God and his blessings that morning.

I hope it's ok to post this part of the message the mom sent me... but I have to share:

Other things:

I had the opportunity to share about my trip with some Big House Church family and that was truly another blessing because there was so much affirmation and encouragement as well as commitments to pray for me and LightForce.

I am seeing the preparation for this trip from years back, especially when it comes to what I have learned about compassion and the growth I have seen in my joy from a spiritual perspective. Here's where I get a little honest with everyone because it is this that is a part of me that makes me who I am today and continues to mold me for the future. A few years back I struggled with depression, it was pretty awful. I have written about it in a post on my other blog here: The Life You've Always Wanted: Part 1. In short, I was stretched farther than I have ever been stretched before. God brought me up from the belly of the grave. It is something I am so glad I went through, because I wouldn't be here, right now, if I hadn't experienced it all. In the time of my depression I struggled with joy. I mean, I guess that would be something you could guess. I kept letting others steal my joy and struggled to find it. That's when I began to consistently pray for the Joy of the Lord to come into my life and overwhelm me with it's presence. He came through. I finally found and kept my joy and added on to it. I was thankful every time someone told me I was "joyful" and uplifting to them. Praise God. Yeah He's pretty awesome. 

Well, I'm definitely going to need this joy to be with me when in Costa. This was something that Karlie and Megan even mentioned in conversation with me. I am seeing the importance of joy in the midst of these. I am so glad that what God has taught me will only be added to from here. So, I am seeing the past as preparation for the future. Pretty great eh?

Some things I read recently from a book called "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg. Just things I have been thinking about lately:

If we are going to know joy, it must be in this day –– today.

True joy, as it turns out, comes only to those who have devoted their lives to something greater than personal happiness. 

Often it is the people closest to suffering who have the most powerful joy.

You shall go out in joy and be led back in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall burst into song, and the trees of the field shall clap their hands. 

That's all for now,

Godspeed